Wednesday, March 13, 2013

One Look

I knew this day would come, I just didn't realize it would be so soon. On our way to school yesterday, Ali shared a story about how a kid in her class was being teased by other kids. My first reaction (and what I did) was talk to her about how she needs to think about how it would feel if she was the one being teased and to not include herself in that group. I then explained to her how she could step up and be a good friend to the child being teased and tell the 'bullies' that the things they are saying aren't nice. And the next sentence she spoke and the look on her face will forever be locked in my mind...'But mommy, I did say that to them and they gave me really mean looks and said they didn't want to play with me anymore...'
Hurt. Happy. Proud. Furious.  I didn't know how to feel..my emotions were all over the place.  My eyes filled with tears (as they do as I write this) because while I was so proud of her for sticking up for her friend, I was also sitting there feeling every ounce of pain that my little five-year old must have felt at the moment she did her brave little act of kindness. I wanted so badly to take it away from her and I tried my best to make her understand that what she did was so right and so awesome, but as a mom you just know that even as little as they are, they store that kind of stuff in the back of their minds and don't forget how they were treated by those kids. My heart breaks for her every time I think about it.
She knows what she did was right and that in the end, those who are kind, caring and brave will be the ones with all the friends to play with while those bullies sit in the corner giving their mean looks to each other wishing they had done things a little differently.

I've always considered myself a pretty laid-back person. I've never been one to rock the boat and I'm happier if everybody else is happy. I was consistently told that I would have been a much better basketball player in high school if I would have been more aggressive and not so 'soft' as they so nicely put it. In the end, all it took was becoming a mom and a few mean looks from kindergartners to say, 'Adios Soft-Sally, hello Don't-Mess-with-My-Kid-Debbie.'

It's too bad kids weren't so mean back when I was younger; I would have been a much better athlete...

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